1.64%
of the content in fitness magazines is dedicated to ads. This means
that if you have a 258 pages magazine about 156 pages will be
dedicated to supplements ads in your face. {supplements are useless.}
2.The
training methods presented in the fitness magazines may look like new
cutting edge technology but they will never get you the body of the
model on the cover since he/she is using anabolic steroids and growth
hormone to get there.
3.If
you are a male and you don't like looking at pictures of other oiled
men in g-strings it is advisable to skip reading fitness magazines.
4.Fitness
magazines make you feel bad about yourself due to the “perfect
bodies” {all photoshop} presented in them.
5.The
level of language in most fitness magazines is insulting to a 3
year-old.
6.All
women in fitness magazines have fake boobs. {you can buy Playboy
instead, less ads}
7.Every
time you read an article from a fitness magazine is like you've hit
your head in a wall – brain damage occurs.
8.Not
buying fitness magazines saves you money. Saving money makes you
richer.
9.By
supporting supplement companies you support lies. In fact, Rich
Gaspari just bought a new house with your hard earned money.
10.Supplements
cause gas and diarrhea. Looking at ads of supplements has similar
effect on the subconscious mind.
11.Athletes
in fitness magazines use fake weights. By buying fitness magazines
you support the usage of fake weights.
 |
| http://www.flickr.com/ |
12.Fitness
magazines are too slippery to be used as toilet paper material.
13.50
Cent does not buy fitness magazines. He takes money to be part of
them. {people say you have to learn from successful individuals}
14.Fitness
magazines do not feature material produced by IronGangsta.com. Who
would want that?
15.If
you don't buy fitness magazines they will go bankrupt and this is a
good thing because there will be less lies in the world of
bodybuilding.
16.You
can kill a person with a fitness magazine but it is faster if you use
a gun.
17.If
Nikola Tesla was alive he would never buy a fitness magazine.
18.Fitness
magazines promote narcissism.
19.There
are no natural bodybuilders in fitness magazines. Even the one who
say they are natural are actually as natural as sex in a bottle.
20.By
buying fitness magazines you support the New World Order and cheap
propaganda to the masses.
21.There
is enough free training material on the Internet and there is no need
to buy fitness magazines to learn.
22.Arnold
Schwarzenegger did not need fitness magazines to be the best
bodybuilder.
23.If
fitness magazines were music it would sound worse than Justin Bieber.
24.When
astronauts are sent in space they never take fitness magazines with
them because there is no gravity where they are about to go.
25.Every
time a kid buys a fitness magazine his mother has to work extra in
order to afford the protein powder her son wants now.
26.If
books are food for the mind fitness magazines would be dog food.
27.Fitness
magazines are for people who can't think for themselves.
28.Every
time you buy a fitness magazine the editor in chief goes to Mexico
and buys steroids with your money.
29.If
fitness magazines were religion it would suck like all religions do.
30.If
fitness magazines were a movie it would be The Matrix.
31.Fitness
magazines are like dick in a box – you think it's a present but
it's actually a dick.
32.If
fitness magazines were a dick it would be a fake one.
33.You
can't learn how to have sex from bodybuilding magazines despite what
the ads say.
34.You
can't have s-e-x with a fitness magazine but if you could it would
suck and you would get a STD.
35.If
fitness magazines were a car it would be made out of paper.
36.Every
time you buy a fitness magazine a tree says: “But God, you promise
I was going to be toilet paper.”
37.If
fitness magazines were a president it would be George W. Bush –
dumb as fuck.