/or
20 answers Chuck Norris would give to the eternal question: “How
much ya bench?”/
1.I
bench press so heavy that sometimes Jesus and God call Mary for help
when they spot me.
2.I
bench press so heavy that sometimes all steel workers in China need
to work overtime in order to manufacture the weights I need on my
barbell.
3.I
bench press so heavy that when I bench it feels like there is an
elephant invasion in the state.
4.I
bench press so heavy that when I bench all priests in the world say:
“Holy shit!”.
5.I bench press so heavy that people need an IBM supercomputer to
count the plates on the barbell.
6.I bench press so heavy that when I bench the Earth changes its
orbit and becomes flat.
7.I bench press so heavy that when I bench all iron in the world
cries.
8.I bench press so heavy that when I bench I don't bench anymore –
I simply fuck gravity, hard.
9.I bench press so heavy that when I bench the Earth becomes a yo-yo.
10.I bench press so heavy that when I bench scientist start thinking
the dinosaurs are back.
11.I bench press so heavy that when you upload picture of me benching
Facebook's servers fail due to the large file size.
12.I bench press so heavy that when you tweet about it your computer
explodes.
13.I bench press so heavy that when I bench Superman is shitting his
pants in some dark place on Krypton.
14.I bench press so heavy that when I bench you no longer wonder who
created the pyramids. You know it was me.
15.I bench press so heavy that when I bench you know why Big Foot
sucks balls.
16.I bench press so heavy that when I bench the Virgin Mary loses her
temperance.
17. I bench press so heavy that when I bench the Iron Man knows why
he is gay.
18.I bench press so heavy that when I bench time makes an exception
and goes back in order for people to see my lift once more.
19.I bench press so heavy that when I bench George Lucas has to suck
dick to afford a camera big enough to record my lift.
20.I bench press so heavy that when I bench Hercules feels like a
cheerleader.
