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It was 4
a.m. and Johnny was already waiting for California Muscle in front of
Crap Is Golden Gym. The weather was quite cold and Johnny was
freezing. He was looking at his watch when he heard a strong male
voice:
'Are you
ready for training?'
It was
California Muscle. He was not wearing even a shirt despite the low
temperatures. His muscles looked hard as rocks and there were veins
popping everywhere. He was a mountain of muscle and a sight to be
remembered. Little J was scared to death from what was about to
happen but he tried to hide it as much as he could by avoiding eye
contact with California Muscle. A few minutes later both men were
already in the locker room getting ready for hardcore bodybuilding
training.
'Wait here,
I have to do something before we hit the weights!', said California
Muscle and went to the bathroom with a small purse. Johnny had hard
time understanding the actions of California Muscle who was quite
often acting weird but since Cali was a muscle God his word was like
an universal law – you just had to obey. 10 minutes later
California Muscle got out of the bathroom and there was a distinct
smell of surgical spirit around him.
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'He probably
has a wound he has to take care of.', thought to himself Little J
when they were entering the weight room.
'It's time
for some heavy bench presses....let's work some chest baby....let's
get swollen as a motherfuckerrrr', screamed Califonia Muscle and went
towards the chest training section of the gym. Johnny was scared to
death. He has never done a bench press before. He was using mostly
machines to target his pectoral muscles. 'What if I die ?', was
thinking Little J.
The weight
was set and waiting for Johnny. It was just the bar or about 45
pounds. Johnny was supposed to do 15 repetitions. He unracked the
weight and started pressing it. He did about five reps when
California Muscle screamed like a mad man:
'Get your s*
together.....you big sissy! What the f* is this? What am I seeing?
Squeeze the bar hardeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr'.
By the 12th
repetition Little J was ready to collapse and during the whole time
was thinking: 'I am a good boy mama. Why are bad things happening to
me?'. Doing 15 repetitions with the bar seemed impossible when
suddenly he remembered why he was doing all this in the first place –
to get the girls with his new physique. He looked around and with the
corner of his eye saw a girl which he estimated to be 7 out 10. It
was the CrossFit girl he helped a few days ago. She was looking at
him. Little J's heart beat sped up and he felt more powerful then
ever. He ended doing a a total of 20 reps instead of 15. After the
set was done Little J felt proud as a lion but his trainer was not so
happy:
'Fucking pussy, can barely bench the bar!' said California Muscle while shaking his head as a sign of resentment.
'Fucking pussy, can barely bench the bar!' said California Muscle while shaking his head as a sign of resentment.
The whole
workout consisted of 15 exercises and took about 2 hours. By the end
of it Johnny was so tired that he couldn't think straight anymore.
The process required too much effort and seemed complicated. He went
home and had to vomit after the torture he went through.
The hardest
thing for Johnny however was the diet regimen that Califonia Muscle
gave him. Johnny was supposed to eat only tuna and ramen. It turns
out that the combination of those foods was extremely anabolic and
very helpful for people looking to get really big naturally.
California Muscle learned the recipe from a real life Gandalf he met
in prison. Since Johnny was determined to enter beast mode and get
all the girls he went to the local supermarket to buy all the tuna
and ramen they had.
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