Monday, January 6, 2014

Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: CT Flat Brain Saves The Day

Sixty days passed since Johnny started training under the guidance of California Muscle. For Little J those two months were the longest two months in his life. He was sore all the time and was able to throw up just by looking at the tuna cans and the ramen he was supposed to eat all day. The only thing that was keeping Little J doing all that work day after day was his goal – to get the physique of a Greek God. 

Friday was considered a day dedicated to training of the back musculature or as most bodybuilders call it – it was a “back day”. One of the exercises that California Muscle insisted on doing every back workout was the deadlift. According the ancient texts deadlifts are making the body release unreal amounts of growth hormone and testosterone during and after heavy workout. This was considered a good thing when trying to build "quality mass".

Little J was already familiar with the movement thanks to Coach Phat Toe who believed performing deadlifts was the most functional exercise one could do, since there is nothing more useful than being able to pick heavy s* off the ground. 

Today the working weight for Johnny was 200 pounds or a little over his personal body weight. He was scared, once again, but as soon as he felt the rigid stainless steel Olympic bar and heard the scream of California Muslce, 'Snap that shit motherfuckeeeeeer', he felt as strong as David Hasselhoff was in his glory days as a bay watcher. Little J had to do 10 repetitions. He was going pretty strong but from almost nowhere the sexy Crossfit girl he wanted to impress checked in the room. Little J opened his grip and the bar hit the floor. 


The whole gym was looking at Johnny. Everybody knew what happens when your drop a heavy barbell on the floor at Crap Is Golden Gym – you were kicked out, no question asked.

The manager approached Little J and said: 'Get the fuck out of my gym'. While Johnny was scrawny himself and it was easy to pick on him nobody seemed to remember that he was training with California Muscle. 

'Get back, motherfuckers!' said California Muscle and grabbed a regular 45lbs plate. 

'I will throw this at anybody who tries to touch my homie!', added California Muscle. 

Suddenly the whole gym got silent. The only noise in the room was produced by an old man using one of the cardio machines. Obviously, he had trouble hearing sounds under 100 dB. Everyone's heart beat was so high that running on the treadmill seemed like a walk in the park. Little J felt like his legs were made of concrete - he couldn't move. After about 20 seconds of dead silence the main door of the gym opened. An old and very tough looking man entered the room. It was none other than CT Flat Brain. He was famous for his exceptional muscular development, especially his right arm which was huge since he turned 12-year old. Despite their constant rivalry CT Flat Brain and California Muscle had huge respect for each other.

'Let them go!', said CT Flat Brain and pointed a pair of Dual Desert Eagle .50 Cal Pistols at the manager of Crap Is Golden Gym and his back-up team. After those words the whole gym crew put the “crap” in Crap is Golden Gym. Little J and California Muscle did not waste time and slowly moved behind the back of CT Flat Brain. As soon as they got close to the entrance door both men started running towards the car. 

Johnny and Cali were now free but they both knew nothing was ever going to be the same after this day – you just don't drop a barbell on the floor of Crap Is Golden Gym! The worst of all was, however, the fact that they owed a favor to CT Flat Brain and back in the day you wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy!

Click here for the next part.