I love
businessmen. They are very interesting animals to observe. The empty
expression on their faces, the pedophile smile and before all – the
Judas look in the eyes are important traits of a true businessman.
This combination never fails to deliver some good shit. Watching
businessmen in group is like watching a gathering of robots who try
to screw each other over. The only difference is that robots have
bigger male pride. When the businessman is not meeting other
representatives of his fucked social layer he counts on large variety
of soulless activities to keep himself busy - you just can't be a
real businessman without being busy. But please don't confuse being
busy with being active.
Businessmen
spend a lot of time on their smart-phones. According the latest
statistics the CEO of a medium size company considers his phone an
equivalent to his dick. They really love those little gadgets – it
makes them feel like James Bond or something. You may have a company
for teddy bears but when you pull out that sexy smart-phone you
transform into a spy agent. The whole point of being a businessman
hides in looking busy, as suggested from word itself. If you don't
look really busy you are not a real businessman. It's almost
irrelevant how you achieve that state as long as you scream at your
employees as often as possible. If you can scream and look busy at
the same time it's even better. If you can do all that and receive a
blow job from your 20 year old secretary you are among the highest
businessmen in the universe. If you can do all that while dying you
have reached the rank of Steve Jobs – the ultimate CEO that rules
the company from his grave.
Another
thing that is part of that sexy businessman look is the sex
addict/somewhat pedophile smile. It's really tough to make it in the
world of business if you are not some sort of sex pervert or at least
look like one. The cool thing is that if you are not one the only
thing you would have to do is hire female employees who wear short
skirts, place every single document in the first drawer and watch
them bend over time after time.
While they are bent over spank them to make that ass bounce and voila
– you are a pedophile and a sex offender – good qualities every
businessman should have. Hold on! We are not done yet. A true
businessman is never complete without the Judas eyes.
To be a
successful businessman you have to be able to fuck people over before
other businessmen fuck them first. That is the end goal of every
businessman – to fuck the little man first because the little men
does not have money for a second or third ride. What you see is what
you get. For that to happen you need to be Judas, you need to be a
back stabber and as socially ruthless as possible in order to end up
on top – with cigar in the mouth. There is no other
way around – nice boys usually get to fuck last and nobody likes
leftovers.
There are
also other equally important qualities that a true businessman should
master. One of them is the art of overdosing disgusting perfumes.
Businessmen tend to smell a lot like shit and in order to cover that
aura a ton of expensive scent has to be sacrificed. Unfortunately, it
all goes to waste since after a few hours of intensive smart-phone
sessions the businessman is one big fat pig again. A cool addition to
the accessories of a true businessman is also the professional
handshake.
The
professional handshake is a sophisticated form of handshaking meant
hide whether you have masturbated before the meeting – a weaker
grip is a sign of a recent session. This could be a problem because
businessmen are not supposed to do it. That's why when a businessman
shakes your hand he usually tries to grip yours as hard as possible
in order to erase all traces of his browsing history which otherwise
are transmitted to you through his hand.
Yeah, it's a
complicated game. But that money ain't gonna make itself – somebody
has to do it, for you.
Gotta love business.
Gotta love business.
