Friday, August 2, 2013

Life Of a Lifter - Important Periods


Step 1. THE IGNORANT NOOB (Beginning of weightlifting career )



Everybody starts lifting for one reason only - to have big muscles and impress girls/boys. That's it. You can talk about how you do it for health and strength, you can talk about how you love it but in the end of the day the reason is always the need to feed your ego and impress others. The added benefits like improved health and strength are just extra bonuses. There is a reason why most people start with bodybuilding and maybe later switch to powerlifting. 

Very few people start out as powerlifters. 

When you are an ignorant noob you do the following: endless research on the Internet on perfect training routines and nutrition regimens. The ignorant noob will spend a huge amount of time researching how it's all done. Usually most ignorant noobs start with the most famous routine on the Internet - in many cases that is 5x5, Starting Strength or Ronnie Coleman's split routine.

This individual usually registers on T-Nation.com, Scooby's forum (too bad it's closed now) and bodybuilding.com. He/She starts asking questions such as: Will I get too big if I lift heavy ?, When will I have chest like Scooby ?, When will my abs appear ?....etc.

After training for 6 months to a year the noob graduates to....

Step: 2 The Noob Who Knows It All

After spending a shitload of time reading on the Internet the noob becomes the Noob Who Knows It All because he/she has read so much about lifting that it feels like there is nothing new to know. Usually this person actually repeats universally accepted information which may or may not be complete bullshit posted by some random guy on the Internet. 


This guy usually believes in things like: squats make you real big, you can have 18 inches arms naturally at 8% BF, Jeff Seid is natural, Ronnie Coleman was natural when he became a professional....etc.

Step 3: The Desperate Noob Who Can't Get "BIG" and "SHREDDED" no matter what

This is a person who saw almost none or simply bad results with the program he/she followed. This person is now investigating alternative training such as Serge Nubret's training methods, Russian secrets, eating animal testicles and more. This guy may be a desperate noob but he takes his training stuff serious and cannot allow himself to miss a day in the gym cause getting big is just around the corner.



Step 4: The Almost Wise Noob

This noob is beginning to know the difference between lies and reality in the world of iron. He is starting to doubt what most big guys say and is researching steroids. He feels likes shit that even his grandmother is on steroids.



Step 5: The Wise Noob (Moment of Truth)

This noob already knows the truth about liars such as Jeff Seid and Matt Ogus and is starting to give less and less fucks about training secrets and bullshit. 

This noob may start using low doses of steroids just to see how his body reacts. Soon he learns that 300 mg of test do not make you look like Ronnie Coleman. This person may or may not become a serious steroid user. 

Note: This person may not reach Step 6.



Step 6: The Not Giving A Fuck Lifter

This person knows that 90% of the information on lifting is broscience. He/She now finally lifts for HEALTH. 



13 comments:

  1. Maaaan this is one cool post ! :)

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  2. Honestly I have reached all steps except for the part where injecting is necessary! lol!!!! TRUE STORY LOL!!!

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    1. Yeah, me too. How do you think I know the steps ?

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  3. Good post.

    I find myself moving up and back through these stages over time.

    I like the current trend of calling out the BS in the fitness industry. Folks like you and Ice Cream Fitness help people realize what is and is not possible naturally.

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  4. Hey man i'm 18 and real glad i found this before i spend the next 10 years chasing something that's not going to happen, just sat and read through most of your posts and already feeling less fucks should be given
    Much thanks!

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  5. Nik whats your program look like these days?

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  6. Lol, this is great! What does the iron life look life when your level 6? Do you just go back to 5x5 aha?

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  7. Nice one!

    Was just about to eat animal testicles, lucky you did that for me!

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