Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: Old Friend

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Molly was right in front of the hospital where she once left California Muscle for repair. After a short moment of hesitation she entered the building and started climbing the stairs on the way to the room of Cali. She hated hospitals because they reminded her how weak humans were after all and that life was a dead end street. Like most people she didn't like that feeling and tried to avoid such places as much as possible. To this day she never understood why anybody would want to be a doctor but she was glad that there were people that stupid.

'Hello, Cali! How is my big boy doing?', said Molly standing at the door of the room. Cali Muscle did not hear anything because he was sleeping and dreaming. That's why Molly had to wake him up.

'Wake up you big pile of steroids.', said Molly.

'Hey, I heard that.' {Cali}

'Damn, you not only look bad but you also sound bad.' {Molly}

'Fuck you bitch. Why are you here in the first place? Didn't you get what you wanted?' {Cali}

'No, big fat panda! The file was corrupt.'

'Damn, files these days...back in my day stuff like that never happened.' {Cali}

'Look, we have a job.', said Molly and explained about the map and golden the monument.

'Damn, I knew that the motherfucker holding his dick at the top of that building was special.' {Cali}

'What do you think is in it?' {Molly}

'I don't know.', but whatever it is better make me rich as hell when we steal it.', said California Muscle and started dreaming. Unfortunately for him it was a short one. The steps of men running down the hall were heard and Molly decided to see what is it all about – the people of Antonio Montana. They were coming back for her.

'Come on, we gotta run.'

'Bitch, I am in a hospital bed. What are you talking about?'

'Unless you you get up right now and start running you will remain in one for a much longer time.'

California Muscle got out of bed. It was a painful thing to do but he didn't scream because he didn't want to look like a big pussy in front of Molly which was a super tough girl in his eyes. They started walking fast towards the opposite exit down the end of the hall.

'Here they are.', said one of the bad guys – the fatter one. He was also bald but had a good jaw structure and women liked him and/or his big wallet. He was not a good fucker, however. Nobody is a good fucker anyway.

Molly acted on impulse and got the M-16 rifle out of her bag. Everybody in the hospital looked cured – the patients started screaming and running all over the place. Jesus wouldn't be able to cause such sensation if he was to appear at that point.

Molly and California Muscle were soon in the car. They were going to get Johnny.

To be continue...

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Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: The Tree House

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After acquiring the necessary equipment for taking distance photos at night Califronia Muscle and Johnny had to find the perfect place to hide and wait for Antonio Montana to make a deal. There were not that many buildings around Crap Is Golden Gym suitable for that job and some kind of improvisation needed to be done. Dressed in their new disguises Cali and Little J were examining the area from all perspectives. Johnny was about to say 'Fuck it. I give up.' before seeing something interesting.

'Look, Tazan's Treehouse!', said Little J and pointed towards some kind of a tree house over the river.

Image credit: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/

'That's nice. Let's see if there is anybody in it.', said California Muscle and removed his hat.

The tree house seemed like the place where teenagers went to smoke weed and pretended they had more brain cells than they actually had. The smell of marijuana was so strong that California Muscle and Little J were able to feel it when they started climbing.

The tree tower even had windows and none of them were broken which was a sign that the place was maintained on regular basis. California Muscle and Little J slowly approached the entrance when Cali whispered: 'Watch out! and made Little J lay down. 'There's somebody there', added California Muscle. Little J was the one who had to look up the window in order to see what's going on because California Muscle had crazy “afro” and putting on his hat required serious time. His hair was just full blown:

http://my.opera.com/

Even though Little J was scared, what happened over the last couple of days gave him more than a few chances to surprise himself. He moved to the left a little bit and looked through the corner of the window. What he saw that day could never be unseen. Never. It was a little something like this:

Image credit: http://cheezburger.com/

'There are some nuns getting wasted.', reported Little J and placed his hand on the heart as a sign that he was telling the truth. It was not enough for California Muscle and despite the risk of being seen he also looked through the window – Little J was telling the truth. The world was going crazy.

'We have to make the bitches go away! We need that tree house!', said California Muscle. Little J had a brilliant idea.

'Go down and start shaking the tree.', said Little J and pointed towards the ladder.

'What? Are you crazy?' replied California Muscle and did a crazy face himself.

'Trust me. I know what I am doing.', said Little J. California Muscle decided to ignore his inner feeling and decided to follow the plan of Johnny. Once he was at the base of the tree the muscular man started shaking it with his powerful arms. At the same time Little J was looking through the corner of the window. At some point the movement of the tree started to get more noticeable and the nuns started talking: 'What is going on? Is this an earthquake.' At about that point Little J placed his hands in front of his mouth and started screaming with somewhat sophisticated pronunciation:

'Jesus is watching! Jesus knows. He will punish you for your sins!

The nuns though it was the weed talking and started screaming. The sounds were awful and resembled a pig horn or something. After a few minutes the women were exiting the house one by one. They were so affected that on the way out they did not even see Little J. This is how the power duo finally had the perfect place to take the photos they needed so desperately. 

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Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: Lifting The TV

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Johnny and California muscle were on the road once again. The expected duration of the journey was unexpected since the vehicle of choice was a double bike and the engine of fate were the quadriceps and hamstrings of a steroid bodybuilder and a skinny nerd. After about 4 hours of continuous pedaling Little J and California Muscle were about to enter the town. In order not to be recognized they had to change their clothes. Luckily there was cheap 1 dollar store near by. Both men felt like they hit gold. California Muscle decided to use the hat below to cover his identity.

http://www.funny-potato.com/

While Johnny decided to go all the way and bought the following suit only in black.

http://www.revolution-bars.co.uk/

The whole transformation required about 4 dollars. It was worth it, or so did they thought.

Cali and Johnny knew very well that the best way to acquire concrete evidence against Antonio Montana was to take pictures of him during deals with steroids and growth hormone. To tell the truth, California Muscle felt like a dick for doing something like that because for years he has been buying similar goods from illegal sources. In this situation he felt like he had no choice but to fuck them all and save his own ass.

Cali was well informed and knew that deals usually happened at night and at the back of Crap Is Golden gym. That's why he and Johnny had to buy a powerful camera that was able to take nights shots from a distance. They both had no money and nobody was suppose to know they were in town. No that there was chance to recognize them anyway. The only option was to go to a pawn shop.

http://www.billemory.com/

In the pawn shop:

'We need a camera for night shooting.', said California Muscle to the pawbroker and tried to sound as tough as they make them, hoping to be intimidating and lower the price.

'Wait a second. I have exactly what you need.', answered the pawnbroker. After a few minutes she came back with something like this:

http://www.pagog.com/

'Damn, that looks nice.', said California Muscle showing his affinity for big things. 'How much?', he asked.

'600 bucks.', said the pawnbroker.

'We only have 10 bucks. We will give you the rest later.', said California Muscle and tried to take the camera from the hands of the broker.

'No,no,no. No pay, no play.', replied the seller.

'Can't we figure out something under the table.', said California Muscle and winked.

The woman looked him in the eyes, then towards the floor and then to the right.

'Yes, actually. If you help me lift one big TV in the other room I will sell you the camera for 100 bucks and you can pay me later.', said the pawnbroker.

'Sure.', said Cali.

After lifting the TV for 20 minutes California Muscle got out, took the camera and went outside where Johnny was waiting for him.

It was time for some time for some action.

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Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: Johnny Trains Chest With California Muscle

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It was 4 a.m. and Johnny was already waiting for California Muscle in front of Crap Is Golden Gym. The weather was quite cold and Johnny was freezing. He was looking at his watch when he heard a strong male voice:

'Are you ready for training?'

It was California Muscle. He was not wearing even a shirt despite the low temperatures. His muscles looked hard as rocks and there were veins popping everywhere. He was a mountain of muscle and a sight to be remembered. Little J was scared to death from what was about to happen but he tried to hide it as much as he could by avoiding eye contact with California Muscle. A few minutes later both men were already in the locker room getting ready for hardcore bodybuilding training.

'Wait here, I have to do something before we hit the weights!', said California Muscle and went to the bathroom with a small purse. Johnny had hard time understanding the actions of California Muscle who was quite often acting weird but since Cali was a muscle God his word was like an universal law – you just had to obey. 10 minutes later California Muscle got out of the bathroom and there was a distinct smell of surgical spirit around him.

http://www.jpshealthandfitness.com.au

'He probably has a wound he has to take care of.', thought to himself Little J when they were entering the weight room.

'It's time for some heavy bench presses....let's work some chest baby....let's get swollen as a motherfuckerrrr', screamed Califonia Muscle and went towards the chest training section of the gym. Johnny was scared to death. He has never done a bench press before. He was using mostly machines to target his pectoral muscles. 'What if I die ?', was thinking Little J.

The weight was set and waiting for Johnny. It was just the bar or about 45 pounds. Johnny was supposed to do 15 repetitions. He unracked the weight and started pressing it. He did about five reps when California Muscle screamed like a mad man:

'Get your s* together.....you big sissy! What the f* is this? What am I seeing? Squeeze the bar hardeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr'.

By the 12^th repetition Little J was ready to collapse and during the whole time was thinking: 'I am a good boy mama. Why are bad things happening to me?'. Doing 15 repetitions with the bar seemed impossible when suddenly he remembered why he was doing all this in the first place – to get the girls with his new physique. He looked around and with the corner of his eye saw a girl which he estimated to be 7 out 10. It was the CrossFit girl he helped a few days ago. She was looking at him. Little J's heart beat sped up and he felt more powerful then ever. He ended doing a a total of 20 reps instead of 15. After the set was done Little J felt proud as a lion but his trainer was not so happy: 

'Fucking pussy, can barely bench the bar!' said California Muscle while shaking his head as a sign of resentment.

The whole workout consisted of 15 exercises and took about 2 hours. By the end of it Johnny was so tired that he couldn't think straight anymore. The process required too much effort and seemed complicated. He went home and had to vomit after the torture he went through.

The hardest thing for Johnny however was the diet regimen that Califonia Muscle gave him. Johnny was supposed to eat only tuna and ramen. It turns out that the combination of those foods was extremely anabolic and very helpful for people looking to get really big naturally. California Muscle learned the recipe from a real life Gandalf he met in prison. Since Johnny was determined to enter beast mode and get all the girls he went to the local supermarket to buy all the tuna and ramen they had.

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Kali Muscle - Another Fake Natural Bodybuilder

Kali Muscle similar to CT Fletcher is a heavy steroid and growth hormone abuser. However like many other pathological liars out there he claims he is a a "natural bodybuilder" (bodybuilder who does not take steroid or other illegal substances in order to get bigger musculature). 

It's seems that today everybody is "natty" and the secret to muscle is to go to prison...Not the case !

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

- Mark Twain 

In the video below at right about 4:25 he says he did not need to take steroids in order to get "swollen as a motherfucker":

Of course this is not true. He is about 5'9  and 240 lbs of "hardcore" muscle. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who admitted using steroids, was 6'2 and 230 lbs. In other words Kali Muscle is not only heavier than Arnold but he is also shorter. Serge Nubret, who was also a heavy steroid abuser, competed at a weight of 200lbs while being 6' tall. Both Arnold and Serge were considered the elite of the bodybuilding world. So, you are telling me that somehow Kali Muscle was able to surpass elite bodybuilders without using steroids ? This could only happen in your favorite fairy tale. In real life it is ALL ABOUT:

Reality is as follows: since steroids have side effects, are illegal without prescription and require more money and control to be made people are selling supplements which are pretty much useless. Since day one promoters like Joe Weider have been using the image of steroid enhanced bodybuilders to promote their magic pills. It's been working great so far.

We know, Kali !

People like Kali Muscle are going to lie to you all day long if that brings them money. That's the way it is. In the meanwhile most of them are doing "g4p" (Gay For Pay), selling supplement, doing studip you tibe videos...etc in order to earn extra.

In the link below you can see that Kali Muscle a.k.a Chuck Basher is a gay porn actor:

PLEASE BE CAREFUL ! YOU WILL SEE A NAKED MAN WHEN YOU CLICK ON THE LINK !!!!

http://discretemale.blogspot.se/2010/05/porn-star-feature-chuck-basher.html?zx=78a59ee987084394

I warned you.

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