Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: They See Me Rollin'


For the previous part click here.

Molly was a smart girl when it came down to making money and not too stupid when it was time to spend it. Unlike the wannabe Mall girls, who were addicted to buying shoes due to overdose with movies like Sex And The City, Molly was an adrenaline junky – fast cars, bungee jumping, travel, laser tag...you name it...Molly loved it.

Inspired by her recent success Molly was pumping classic songs such as Baby Girl By Aqua in the Blueberry she stole from California Muscle and Little J. She was also driving well above the speed limit. Unfortunately, an annoying sound interrupted her joy:

'Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!Beep'

The sound was the ring tone of Johnny who left his phone in the car. Molly pulled over to the side of the road in order to decide what to do. After a brief moment of hesitation the waitress answered.

'What the hell do you want pussy boy? You mad?', said Molly while opening a pack of chips.

'Listen to me you stupid brain dead bitch. I am going to find you and throw you to the pigs.', said California Muscle who was mad as hell.

'Spoken like a true gentlemen.', said Molly and broke the phone. She knew very well that the Blueberry she was driving was stolen and therefor had no choice but to abandon it. Molly took all her belongings and started walking down the road. It wasn't going to take her a lot to find another victim to drive her to the closest town...

In the meanwhile California Muscle, Little J and CT Flat Brain were trying to find out who was the most retarded out of them and were constantly fighting over the reason they got fucked over by a waitress. Thankfully California Muscle was strong enough to untie himself from the radiator where Molly left him and Little J.

'You don't even have GPS on your phone, you dumb fuck!', said California Muscle to Little J who was trying to calm himself by eating vanilla ice cream. He heard a rumor that this was Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite. After about 20 more minutes of screams and insults CT Flat brain interrupted Cali and Johnny.

'In case you have forgotten I got shot in the foot.', said CT Flat Brain despite the fact that the wound on his leg was the size of his balls which were as small as a peanut due to abuse of anabolic steroids.

'It's barely a scratch. Let's move. We have to go back in town and find evidence against Antonio Montana.', said California Muscle while counting the few dollars he had left in his pockets.

'But we don't have enough to buy even bus tickets.', said Johnny who had ice cream all over his mouth.

'I have a nice double bike in my garage. You can take it and I will stay here and take care of myself....you will even burn some calories.....you need if after that sugar bomb.', said CT Flat Brain.

It was true that CT Flat Brain had a double bike in the garage. It was something like this:

'No fucking way I am riding that thing.', said California Muscle meaningfully. He clenched his fists.

'You have no other options. Pussy. Maybe you want to steal another car and enjoy the male touch in prison?', said CT Flat Brain.

California Muscle knew he was fucked but going back to prison was never an option for him. 'Let's ride', he said.

Click here for the next part.



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