Friday, December 27, 2013

Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: The Beginning


Johnny was a young college student who really liked erotic movies. He was watching similar productions on regular basis in order to learn new techniques. One day during his educational hour he was hit by a profound revelation - all male actors presented muscular physiques. Johnny stood in front of the mirror and stared at himself critically. He did not like what he saw. It was time for a change and nobody was going to stop him from attaining the physique of a movie star.

Since Johnny was not very well educated on the subject he decided to approach his mother for advice.

'Mom, what should I do to get them muscles, like in biology class?', he asked politely while looking at the floor in a poor attempt to hide his shame.

'Just do your push-ups, son.', answered his mother and kissed him on the cheek.

Johnny started doing push-ups on regular basis. After two weeks he looked in the mirror once again and he was still very far away from the look that was going to get him all the girls. This is when he decided that his mother was obviously very ignorant when it comes to gaining muscle mass, after all she married a rich fat banker.

Johnny knew he had to sacrifice something in order to achieve his goal. He decided to use the Internet for research on muscle mass development instead of continuing with his regular educational hour. He typed "how to get big muscles and get the girls real fast" in Google. The search results were long to say the least. Johnny did not have a lot of time and lacked patience. He clicked on the first page that said: "Drink Milk, Squat and Get the Girls by Coach Phat Toe". According to the article the best way for a boy to become a man and get all the girls was by squatting* heavy weights and drinking milk - "like all baby mammals do". Johnny was sold. Problem was Coach Phat Toe's recommended dose was 1 gallon a day. That was a a lot of milk and Johnny needed a job in order to cover his expenses. 

Little J. started working part-time in a local strip club as waiter and bought all the of milk he needed for a month with his first salary. The white liquid was like his new teddy bear - together forever! There was one problem however. Coach Phat Toe required from his students to perform squats with a heavy barbell on their backs. In order to perform the exercise correctly Johnny needed a squat rack*. There was only one training facility able to provide such machinery - The Crap Is Golden Gym. Little J's first training session was scheduled for the beginning of next week. 

It was a cold Monday morning but that did not stop Johny from getting up early and going to the gym. The little dreamer took the bus and in about 40 minutes was in front of Crap Is Golden Gym. He passed through the front door and stared at the people there. It was a worrying sight in front of him - everybody was bigger than him.

 'So, this is where all porn actors train.', thought Johnny. 

Despite feeling extremely frustrated due his scrawny look Johnny went to the squat rack which was the equipment he needed to perform the routine of Coach Phat Toe. Unfortunately, that piece of machinery was already occupied by two funky metro sexual men. They were doing the so called biceps curl which is an old exercise meant to turn your arms into pythons. Rumours are famous bodybuilders like Arnold did that movement everyday to get "swollen" arms. Since Johnny felt like he does not belong in that place he decided to wait for the two funky looking men to finish their routine. He had to watch them flex their biceps for about 25 minutes. What made the whole experience even weirder was the fact that between the sets they were touching each other's biceps in order to see who has the harder one.

'What a camaraderie!' though Johnny.

It took Johnny about 1 hour to do Coach Phat Toe's routine. The hardest thing for Johnny was to do the exercises correctly but he managed to survive. The milk was also very helpful and gave him a lot of energy to go through this painful activity.

A few months passed and Johnny was already seeing results from his work. Other people started to notice his body transformations as well. His mother was even worried for him - her son was getting fatter, especially in the lower body. One day she had no choice but to tell him the truth:

'Johnny, you look fat. Please, stop drinking all that milk.', she said.

Johnny did not know how to react and went to his room crying. He immediately undressed himself and started examining his newly transformed body in the mirror. It was scary. He had man boobs and a big fat gut. He was already crying and thinking:

'Lord, I got my squat to 405lbs as Coach Phat Toe recommended. Why am I not looking like an erotic actor?'

Over the next few days Johnny got very depressed and stopped training. He even lost motivation to watch his regular educational hour. However, he was not going to give up on his dream so fast.

Click here for next chapter.

*”squat” - the squat is an old exercise used to strengthen the lower body. There are many different variations and the movement can be performed with or without added resistance. The most common way to perform squats is by using a barbell. In order to perform barbell squats you also need a squat rack where the barbell is placed before and after the exercise. 

10 comments:

  1. This might be of interest: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/year-review-gift-steroids-keeps-giving - "Mouse muscles stay juiced long after doping ends"

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  2. Completely off topic, but I saw an old post about Poliquin's supplement hawking and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on his strength training ides.

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    1. Same old recycle material. Bullshit supplements, steroid loaded athletes, broscientist and snake oil salesman.

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    2. I like squatting (unfortunately(?) i never, ever, once thought of being a porn star LOL)......hoping i never end like jonny hahaha

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. This looks like an awesome series. I am starting to read now.

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  5. i like your story
    keep it up

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