Friday, February 7, 2014

20 Situations When Money Is Just Useless Paper

1.When you are stuck in the elevator you are stuck in the elevator no matter how much money you have. What are you going to do? Buy a new elevator while you are in the old one? I guess if you own the building people will be more cooperative but still – you are stuck motherfucker.

2.When you fall from an airplane and find yourself on a deserted island. Nature does not care about money. It's a man made concept.

3.When you try to resurrect someone. Sorry, this product and services are not available right now. Try again later. Have a good day!

4.When traveling in space – you just can't find a bank willing to accept your currency. Fuck those monopolistic aliens.

5.When trying to un-fuck someone who have already fucked – sorry.

6.When you are traveling on the Great Titanic. Money can't make you feel warm in the freezing Atlantic Ocean.

7.When trying to change the color of your skin. MJ tried it. Didn't work.

8.When trying to change your parents.

9.When you want to become a cat.

10.When you are a cat.

11.When a murderer is pointing a gun to your head but you can't talk in order to inform him/her that you are loaded with cash.

12.When trying to have sex with Catherine Zeta-Jones. She already has plenty of it.

13.When you are a man who wants to get pregnant. Sorry son.

14.When you want to make the day longer and the night shorter. You can't cheat nature.

15.When you are in casino that only accepts bananas.

16.When you want to change your DNA.

17.When you want to buy a new body but keep the brain.

18.When you want to turn water into wine.

19.When you want to turn wine into water.

20.When you understand that all money is made by the Federal Reserve and is not worth the paper it's printed on.