Friday, February 7, 2014

21 More Things We Do That Change Nothing

1.Saying “I am pretty” in front of the mirror. Mirrors can't hear.

2.Saying “I hope it doesn't rain.” before checking the weather. What is that supposed to do for you?

3.Trying to convince an Apple zombie that he is a stupid brain dead moron. It's like talking to a brick.

4.Talking to players while watching football on TV – they can't hear you dumb fuck.

5.Explaining how the computer works to your grand mother.

6.Taking testosterone boosters – you get the same effect by not taking them. So there is no need to take them.

7.Screaming when no one can hear you.

8.Having a briefcase fool of money on a deserted island – tell me when tigers start accepting cash not to kill you.

9.Writing “http://www.” in front of websites.

10.Playing basketball, hoping to get taller. Keep jumping – maybe one day you will.

11.Trying different cures for baldness – nothing truly effective so far.

12.Saying: “Please, don't take my house.” to a banker.

13.Typing “Justin Bieber naked” in Google while expecting to see photos that are not gay.

14.Turning the lights on when there is no electricity.

15.Trying to break something that cannot be broken.

16.Doing 30 minutes of cardio after eating 10 Big Macs. Still fat.

17.Hoping not to get old.

18.Buying flowers for someone who doesn't love you.

19.Trying to turn a hoe into a housewife.

20.Giving more money to Bill Gates – it's like pouring a bucket of water intro the ocean. Nobody is going to notice.

21.Clicking on this link.