Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Reason Celebrities Do Drugs

Do you even know how hard it is to be a celebrity? You have to drive nice cars and load them with all that gas. Do you know how hard it is to be paid millions? Lifting the briefcase gets really hard after a certain point. Do you know how hard it is to wear diamond rings? Fingers hurt from the weigh and the bling bling damages the eyes. On top of that you have to talk on your cellphone – a lot. Do you know how hard that is? No, wonder celebrities do drugs – it's needed to survive in the tough world of the rich man. I love celebrities. If it wasn't for them I would have less people to hate on.

When you are rich and famous you live a life that seems to be out of this world – it's like you are on another planet – the planet of first world problems such as: But mommy, my friends said I look gay in that dress. Life is unfair and sucks. Fuck you mommy! Fuck you! I want a new dress. Fuck you mommy! Fuck!

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Money and fame spoil celebrities and give them false perception of reality. When there are bitches around and the toilet seat is golden it's really hard to think about how the world has become a living hell for many. It's so hard that in most cases it's better to forget that poor countries even exist. The fact that most celebrities think Africa is in Australia helps. How cool is that? Probably this is why my teachers said imagination is very important.

However, some celebrities are smarter. They see through the garbage. They see through the fake. This is when they start doing PR campaigns to help the poor. When you have USD 100 M in the bank USD 100 don't look as a serious financial loss. It's a just one dose of cocaine – nothing more nothing less and you can always borrow from a friend. For good or for bad there are celebrities who move beyond that phase in order to reach the next one called – I hate myself.

When your hunger for things is finally satisfied and you see how we are all fucked up real bad a great depression occurs. A depression so bad that even the girl with the greatest tits cannot save you from it. You can try to hide in her tits as much as you want but eventually you face the problem and you start asking yourself – why is the planet such a fucked place and what is the point of it all? At times like these drugs are your only friend. They fix everything. Suddenly, the miserable things in life disappear and you can enjoy your money and cars once again. Who are you not to? After all, the dick of that film director didn't suck itself – if was you who did all the hard work! Don't let others take that away from you! Fight for your rights. Tweet about it if you have to. Do something!

It's hard out there for a celebrity – you gotta smile when you don't wanna smile. It's harder than it looks because you may fake it with your face but you can't fake it in your heart when you know the truth about how stupid everything is and how severe the damage is. It's hard when you know the truth – it's like waking up from a long coma. A coma we are forced to love but which ultimately ends in suffering.

Fuck that, where is Molly? Have you seen Molly? I am looking for Molly but I can't find her. Damn. This time I will have to satisfy myself with just Marry. Whiz Khalifa knows what is the real deal.