Thursday, January 30, 2014

25 Ironic Answers To The Question: “Do you even lift?”

1.Yes, brah. I lift and I am also in love with myself. You miring? {shows biceps}

2.Yeah, brah. We lift things and we put them down. {lifts a pencil and puts it down}

3.Yeah, brah. I always use the elevator. {hates the stairs}

4.No. I have a life, brah, and I am not narcissistic. {actually lifts but feels too small to admit it}

5.No, brah. Lifting is like masturbation – I like the real thing. {masturbates a lot}

6.Why would I lift? You die anyway. {still lifts hoping to look good at 70 years of age}

7.No. Girls don't care about muscle. They only love money. {correct, but still lifts because there is no money in the bank}

8.No. Only people with small dicks lift. I don't need it. {has a small dick and does push-ups}

9.No. I don't like steroids. {actually lifts and buys every supplement under the Sun}

10.Yes, I want to be like Layne Norton. {masturbates to a picture of Layne Norton}.

11.Yes. I squatted 405lbs yesterday. { fat fuck who weights 250 lbs }

12.Yes, I want to be like Mark Rippetoe. {fat fuck who wants to stay fat forever}

13.No, that's for rich people. {does pull-ups on the monkey bars and spends USD 500 on gas}

14.No, I don't have time for it. {plays 5 different video games a day}

15.No, God does not want me to. {prays to the image of Buddha}

16.No, my girlfriend says I look perfect without lifting. {girlfriend cheats all day every day}

17.No, people in the gym are very stupid. {goes to McDonalds's instead}

18.No, what's the point – when you stop muscle turns into fat. {brain dead}

19.Yes, yesterday I bought the latest supplements from T-Nation. {brain dead}

20.No, it's boring. {reads comic books}

21.Yes, it's so cool. {reads comic boos between sets}

22.No, I am not insecure. {trains karate}

23.Yes, I want to become a sex God and kettlebell swings help with that. {has sex only on birthdays, not his}

24.No, I don't care how I look naked. {looks in the mirror before a shower}

25.Yes, but I do it for health reason. {posts pictures on Facebook}