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After the
crazy adventure Johnny and California Muscle experienced at Crap Is
Golden Gym they decided to go to the house of the latter in order to
come up with a strategy that was going to help them fix the
unfavorable situation they found themselves in.
The house of
California Muscle was like a dungeon. There no light at all. The
place was also pretty dirty except for the kitchen which was
extremely dirty. There were banana peels all over the floor and the
walls were decorated with strains from spilled protein shakes. By the
looks of it the last time a woman was in that apartment people were
still using cell phones just to talk to each other.
'Put your
shit over there', said California Muscle to Little J and pointed
towards the couch, or at least the piece of furniture that was
supposed to be one. Johnny sat on the sofa and thought:
'How did I
end up here? I thought a guy with the physique of California Muscle
will have a much better home. And where are the girls?'
Little J's
head was going crazy and he decided to get a drink. When he opened
the fridge he was amazed at how tidy and precisely placed was
everything. There were three separate compartments with labels on
them: protein | carbs | fats. Obviously, California Muscle was taking
his nutrition very seriously. However, one thing that looked
extremely out of the ordinary to Johnny were a few bottles containing
weird yellow, transparent and somewhat white substances. The labels
were very small and hard to read but Johnny was able to extract a few
words: “Testosterone Propionate”. Initially Johnny thought that
was one of those popular nutritional supplements that are supposed to
increase your natural levels of testosterone but his dreams were
about to be shattered forever in about 10 seconds.
'What are
you looking for? Have you not seen steroids in your life?', said
California Muscle.
For the
first time Johnny questioned his beliefs in God. California Muscle
was using steroids? How was that possible? After all, he was eating
all that tuna and ramen...it was not making much sense to him.
'You look
like you've just learned there is no Santa Claus!', said California
Muscle with a look on his face that was supposed to make Little J
feel even more stupid.
'So, why are
you using steroids if you are eating all that tuna and ramen?', said
Johnny.
'It's pretty
simple Johnny – you can't get as big as humanly possible without
gear. Period.', said California Muscle and grabbed the bottle of
testosterone that Johnny was holding and started getting ready for
his routine post workout steroid injection. When the needle was
sterile and ready California Muscle pulled his pants down, turned his
butt towards Little J and said: 'Do it!'.
'No, no,
no....Mr. Cali I am not that kind of person...it's all about the
girls.....I can't have sex with you', said Johnny after seeing
something that he considered an anti-boner sightseeing.
'Sex with
me? Are you fucking stupid? You little fucktard! I just want you to
inject this shit in my left glute!', replied California Muscle with
super serious tone and gave the needle to Little J who had no choice
but to do what his coach demanded.
The
injection was done and Johnny was still shocked: 'I was doing all
that stuff for the girls but instead I am injecting hormones into
male butts.', said to himself Little J while California Muscle was
pulling his pants up.
'No time for
pussyfooting. This place is no safe and we have leave it as soon as
we can. Let's start packing. Remember - only essential things', said
California Muscle and put his steroids into a special metal case.
Both men
were in the middle of their preparation when they heard gunshots
coming from the outside. Instinctively Little J and Cali lied down on
the floor. California Muscle grabbed his AK-47 and started shooting
back. He was not very experienced with weaponry and was quite bad at
it. The only thing he hit was his mouth because he did not know how
to hold the weapon properly.
'Russian
idiots, don't even know how to make a proper gun.', said California
Muscle and urged Little J to move towards the back entrance.
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