Sunday, January 19, 2014

Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: Hello Prison

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California Muscle and Little J nhad concrete evidence that Mr. Antonio Montana was a steroid and growth hormone kingpin drug dealer. Before going to the police the duo decided to return the camera to the pawn shop since it was no longer needed and all the information was stored on the memory card of the device anyway. After receiving their 10 dollars back Cali and Little J decided to get something to eat.

Unfortunately, it's hard to satisfy a bodybuilder with just 10 bucks when it came down to food. Muscle worshipers have notorious eating habits and suffer from different disorders. The most obvious one is that bodybuilders refuse to eat something that is not rich in protein which is the muscle building macro nutrient. The more of it in your diet – the better. It was already 10 p.m. and the only opened placed was an Arabic restaurant selling mostly falafel sandwiches. With 10 dollars one could buy exactly two of those. For Little J and California Muscle this was better than nothing, even though Cali was trying to imagine that he was eating lean chicken breast while chewing his falafels. After the re-load the two men headed straight to the local police department in order to present the fresh evidence they've obtained.

'Hello. We are hear to put a drug kingpin behind bars.', said California Muscle to the first police officers he saw in the station.

'Ha-ha-ha! Nice try!', replied the police officer and continued to list through the Facebook photos of his ex-girlfriend.

'I am dead fucking serious! Stupid trash with a badge!', said California Muscle whose stomach was feeling raped by the recently ingested sandwich. The heartburn was serious.

'Ok. The door at the end of the hall is where you can submit a complain about drug related issues.', answered the police officer who was already feeling depressed by the fact that his former girlfriend has uploaded a selfie of her and a new man. The cop was about to kill himself. By the looks of it suicide by Facebook seemed like a cool way go. 'Maybe I will receive a lot of likes if I post my death wish on my Facebook wall.', was thinking the cop – but that's a whole different story.

California Muscle knocked at the door at the end of the hall.

'Come in.', {girly voice}. The man in question was Detective Lyle McDonald's. He was a skinny fat nerd wearing three million dollar glasses and his room was full of research paper. Lyle was nerd production force at it finest.

'Good evening, sir. We are here to present concrete evidence that Antonio Montana is a drug kingpin. In exchange for the photos we want all charges against us dropped. Otherwise there will be no deal.', said California Muscle while Johnny was scratching his balls through the pocket of his pants hoping that nobody will see what he is doing.

'Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool', said Lyle

'You guys really made my day. Looooooooooooooool'

'Do you really think that pictures showing how a man exchanges bottles for money will stand in court. Come on! My 88-year-old mother knows better than that! Go fuck yourself in the butt and leave me so that I can do my research work.', said McDonald's.

Cali was mad as hell. He grabbed McDonald's by the throat and was about to crush it when a police officer came from the back and teased Cali. Obviously, Lyle McDonald's has pressed the panic button or something like that.

Cali and Little J were now in a prison cell and freedom has become an even bigger illusion.

Click here for the next part.