Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: Hospitals Are Not For Pussies


Click here for the previous chapter.

California Muscle was beaten up pretty bad. His whole face was covered in blood and the observations of Little J were clear - his mentor was missing two of his frontal teeth. It wasn't looking good, to say the least. Luckily, nobody shot him and it was safe to go to the hospital since there was no bullet to report.

34 minutes later...

The doctor looked at Molly and said:

'So, you are telling me that all of this happened when he went to throw the garbage and fall because his shoelaces were not tied enough?'

'You got it right, doc.'

Molly was a good liar but the doctor was not that stupid. His name was Alan Unicorn and had a few PhDs, one of which was in bodybuilding nutrition – yes there is such thing as PhD in bodybuilding nutrition. It is 2014 – grow up!

'Fuck it. You are paying me in cash anyway. I don't care.', said Alan Unicorn whose breath was smelling like shit mixed with mentos. After about 3 hours California Muscle was glued back to life and was left to rest. According to the doctor the biggest problem was his liver which has taken a severe beating and was not very healthy in the first place due to Cali's addiction to anabolic steroids.

'Big daddy is stabilized but his liver is in very bad shape. Unless he gives up steroids and eats healthy he will need a transplant in 6 months to a year.', reported Alan Unicorn while keeping his general “I don't give a fuck” attitude and ton.

Image credit: artzthings.com

'Are you kidding me? If his arms get below 18 inches he may commit suicide.', said Little J who has measured the arms of his trainer about 24 times. They were 20.19 inches cold and 21.5 inches pumped.

'Look, little tit! I couldn't care less about his arms. Get a life.', said the doctor and went outside for a smoke and to flirt with one of the nurses.

California Muscle needed rest, lots of it. Molly and Little J had to try complete the mission without muscle mass to back them up. It wasn't going to be easy, mainly due to the fact that Johnny didn't know how to behave around beautiful women. Actually he didn't know how to act around any kind of women – short, fat, slim, hairy, bald...

'Let's go puppy!', said Molly and started dragging Johnny.

'Hey, my name is Johnny and I am not your puppy.' {Johnny}

'I think puppy suits you better. We have to see what's on that spy camera. Do you have a computer at home? Puppy!' {Molly}

'Yes, I do, but don't call me puppy, please...' {Johnny while trying not to look at Molly}

'Tell someone who cares. Puppy!' {Molly}


Click here for the next part.


3 comments:

  1. Actually, the only time someone gets liver problems from the juice is when they start abusing oral steroids along with taking alcohol/tobacco. Just keeping you aware.

    ReplyDelete
  2. California Muscle loves oral steroids because of the look they give him.

    ReplyDelete