Saturday, January 4, 2014

Johnny's Adventures In The Muscle World: Johnny Trains Chest With California Muscle


Click here to read the previous chapter.

It was 4 a.m. and Johnny was already waiting for California Muscle in front of Crap Is Golden Gym. The weather was quite cold and Johnny was freezing. He was looking at his watch when he heard a strong male voice:

'Are you ready for training?'

It was California Muscle. He was not wearing even a shirt despite the low temperatures. His muscles looked hard as rocks and there were veins popping everywhere. He was a mountain of muscle and a sight to be remembered. Little J was scared to death from what was about to happen but he tried to hide it as much as he could by avoiding eye contact with California Muscle. A few minutes later both men were already in the locker room getting ready for hardcore bodybuilding training.

'Wait here, I have to do something before we hit the weights!', said California Muscle and went to the bathroom with a small purse. Johnny had hard time understanding the actions of California Muscle who was quite often acting weird but since Cali was a muscle God his word was like an universal law – you just had to obey. 10 minutes later California Muscle got out of the bathroom and there was a distinct smell of surgical spirit around him.
http://www.jpshealthandfitness.com.au

'He probably has a wound he has to take care of.', thought to himself Little J when they were entering the weight room.

'It's time for some heavy bench presses....let's work some chest baby....let's get swollen as a motherfuckerrrr', screamed Califonia Muscle and went towards the chest training section of the gym. Johnny was scared to death. He has never done a bench press before. He was using mostly machines to target his pectoral muscles. 'What if I die ?', was thinking Little J.

The weight was set and waiting for Johnny. It was just the bar or about 45 pounds. Johnny was supposed to do 15 repetitions. He unracked the weight and started pressing it. He did about five reps when California Muscle screamed like a mad man:

'Get your s* together.....you big sissy! What the f* is this? What am I seeing? Squeeze the bar hardeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr'.

By the 12th repetition Little J was ready to collapse and during the whole time was thinking: 'I am a good boy mama. Why are bad things happening to me?'. Doing 15 repetitions with the bar seemed impossible when suddenly he remembered why he was doing all this in the first place – to get the girls with his new physique. He looked around and with the corner of his eye saw a girl which he estimated to be 7 out 10. It was the CrossFit girl he helped a few days ago. She was looking at him. Little J's heart beat sped up and he felt more powerful then ever. He ended doing a a total of 20 reps instead of 15. After the set was done Little J felt proud as a lion but his trainer was not so happy: 

'Fucking pussy, can barely bench the bar!' said California Muscle while shaking his head as a sign of resentment.

The whole workout consisted of 15 exercises and took about 2 hours. By the end of it Johnny was so tired that he couldn't think straight anymore. The process required too much effort and seemed complicated. He went home and had to vomit after the torture he went through.

The hardest thing for Johnny however was the diet regimen that Califonia Muscle gave him. Johnny was supposed to eat only tuna and ramen. It turns out that the combination of those foods was extremely anabolic and very helpful for people looking to get really big naturally. California Muscle learned the recipe from a real life Gandalf he met in prison. Since Johnny was determined to enter beast mode and get all the girls he went to the local supermarket to buy all the tuna and ramen they had.

Click here for next chapter.

8 comments:

  1. Its funny how you sometimes put in your own opinion haha

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  2. LOL do you actually come up with these by yourself? It's hilarious

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    1. Yes. It's all me. Thanks for the support and reading my post.

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  3. Is this semi autobiographical?

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    1. Yes, but semi is a little too much. It's more like 1/4 autobiographical.

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  4. Inconsistency spotted: If little J had done Phat Toe's routine, he would have bench pressed.

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    1. You are correct actually. I was thiking about adding additional information such as: he skipped bench pressing because he was ashamed to ask for a spotter or somethnig among those lines.

      Thanks for the support.

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